The end and beginning

Last night was my last night with my kids at church. I've struggled with stepping down from the youth for several months and finally did what I felt the Lord was leading me to do. I have no idea what the next next is or really even what it's going to look like, but I'm excited about it. I know this was the right thing to do.

Lately, I've been thinking about what I believe and how that reflects the way I live my life. I say I want things but do I do what's necessary to achieve them? I want to save money but will I put myself on the budget I've created and not waver from it? No. I want to lose weight but am I disciplined to not eat chocolate whenever I "need" it and make myself get up earlier so I can exercise before work? Sometimes, but not consistently enough to see the results I want. I want there to be less of me so the Lord can really be EVERYTHING in my life but I don't make time for Him like I should. I have a stack of books to read but it's easier to watch TV. "The spirit is willing but the body is weak" (Matt. 26:41) Ugh. It's a constant struggle. I think sometimes I just expect the Lord to all of a sudden put this desire in me to do all those things and then everything would just be easy. He doesn't work that way and I know that and I know why He doesn't work that way. Yet, there I sit. Waiting on Him to "fix" everything for me instead of using the tools He's given me to do them myself. Discipline is a hard lesson to learn and I feel this will be an area I will deal with my entire life. I guess to some extent everyone does in some way or other...

Snow...

So I have been in my house for the past three days. I have very much so enjoyed it. I LOVE to be at home and it's nice to not be able to go anywhere. The fact that I have to go back to work tomorrow may be the only reason I would like the snow to stick around a little longer...Three days at home may be my limit. I have watched SO many movies/TV shows. Check out my list...

• The Thorn Birds
• Sabrina
• To Catch A Thief
• Sleepless In Seattle
• Regarding Henry
• Gone With The Wind
• My Big Fat Greek Wedding
• And episodes of The Andy Griffith Show and How I Met Your Mother

Other than cooking some and cleaning up the downstairs, I've pretty much been parked on the couch for the past three days. We did go out and take a walk in the snow one night. It's so beautiful. I love how bright it makes everything.

Work again tomorrow. We are going in about an hour late since the neighborhood is still pretty much all ice. I could get used to that everyday:)

I guess I should head to bed. I HAVE to work out in the morning especially since I laid around all weekend:)

I blame you, Skinny Mocha

I should be asleep now but here I sit. I went to Starbucks tonight with Jen and had a skinny mocha so I'm sure that's why I'm wired when I should be more than ready for bed. I have lots of things running around in my head (as usual). I'm thinking about this time last year and how much has changed. Things that I thought were solid and forever are now no more. Things that I never thought I would want or be are things that I constantly think about or have done. I just love the Lord so much. I feel very overwhelmed by Him tonight. I'm so excited about this year and all that it holds. I know I've talked about this before but I really am. There is so much potential and I want to experience all that the Lord has in store for this year. Yay!

Converse and snow don't mix

I went to bed last night (actually early this morning. I got interested in Gilmore Girls) really hoping to wake up to some white goodness. Unfortunately I didn't have my hopes fulfilled. Now, I'm not a big snow fanatic. I think it's beautiful and it's fun to play in but Tennessee just doesn't see that much of it so I've never gotten used to it. However, this morning was different. I had purely selfish reason for wanting it to snow. I wanted to stay home in my nice warm bed and not go anywhere all day. I rarely have a day of the week that I get to do that and that sounded wonderful. Needless to say, I was disappointed when I looked out my window this morning. So, Mama and I got ready for work and made the drive to Brentwood. We had been there about an hour when, what happened?? It started snowing! ha. It was beautiful and I have to admit, I was distracted from my work (not hard to do) by wanting to look out the window. We ended up leaving a few hours early which was fun. Our office building is on a hill so by the time we left, there was a nice little dusting covering everything. I was wearing my Converse and those are definitely not made to walk around in the snow. I had some very cold toes. Anyway. It's always nice to have something out of the ordinary happen on an ordinary day. I have to open at the Y tomorrow and instead of having to be there at 4:45 AM it's 6:45 AM. Yay for opening two hours late. MOPS was also cancelled tomorrow. I suddenly have a free day that I wasn't expecting. I wonder what Jesus wants to do with it?

Well, I think it's time to settle into my fabulous electric blanket. I would freeze for sure without that. I think I should name him. Something manly and burly. Hmmmm...

Snow?

Tonight the prediction is anywhere from two to six inches of snow to fall here in Nashville. I have very selfish reasons for desiring this. I'll get stuck at home tomorrow:) I could so be a hermit in the winter. Especially this winter as cold as it's been. I love getting wrapped up in layers of clothes and blankets and snuggling in with a good book or an old movie. Add some chai tea in there and that sounds like a lovely day.

I really, really like snow ;) (That's for you, Leann)

So far, I'm doing well with my goals I've set. (It's only been 6 days so I would hope so! ha) I have some beautiful ladies who hold me accountable and I them. This time next year we can say that 2010 was a success!

Last night I went to see Youth in Revolt with a friend. It was a good movie, good converstaion, and just an overall good night. I don't know if this makes me uninteresting but that pretty much sums up my favorite way to spend an evening out. I love going to the movies and I love sitting and talking with someone one on one. Thinking about that makes me wonder why I can't just sit and talk with the Lord one on one that easily. Of course I pray daily and talk with the Lord while I'm going about my day, but to just sit and give Him my undivided attention like I do my friends is difficult. It shouldn't be that way. This is something I've really been thinking about a lot lately. I'm really trying to change that about myself. I want to become less so that the Lord can become that much greater.

Cold

The title of this post completely sums up today. It's cold outside, it's cold inside, it's even cold in my furry leopard print house shoes (which by the way, I am wearing). I'm sitting in "my" (it's shared) office at work, eating my turkey sandwich and freezing. I have my house shoes on, a blanket wrapped around my legs, a hoodie and my coat on. I don't know if the heat is completely out or if it's just not working well today. Oh well. Only 3 hours and 45 mins. left:)

Today started my goal of eating better and losing weight. I got up at 5 AM and went to the Y and worked out before work. Thankfully my parents decided to buy a 25 pound turkey for Christmas dinner so I will be enjoying turkey sandwiches forever! I'm actually looking forward to working towards my goals for the year. I don't think I've ever had long term goals and actually met them, so I'm pretty determined that 2010 will be the year that I do. I enjoy my routine (even though I love the unknown) and seem to stay more focused when I have one. I'm really trying to create that kind of environment during my work week so I can actually do this stuff. I have more goals than just to get healthy-er but that's enough of that for now.

I have several trips I would like to take this year. Chicago, Boston, even a few days trips here and there to go hiking or just to see more of Tennessee (or anything that's fairly close). Apparently this out doorsy thing is going to stick so we'll see how that works out! ha I'm also going to Little Rock in a few weeks (pending my shifts get covered at the Y) and I think the family vacation is Gulf Shores in May or June. Andrea is getting married the first weekend of June so it will be back to Little Rock for that. I think Colorado is still being tossed around for Christmas, but I'm really not a huge fan of that one. I want to go there but I really don't want to go for Christmas.

I think I'm going to take a walk around the building (inside of course!) and try to warm up. My fingers are like chubby little icicles!